I have brilliant kids. And I feel like they are sharpening me on a regular basis. They pay attention to my inconsistencies and have no problem pointing them out. It's a very humbling (code for embarrassing) experience to have my children expose my frailty and inadequacy at the hands of naiveté and learning. Makes me feel small. They are not even being mean. I am the psychological lab rat in their didactic game of boundaries. They are poking and prodding at my integrity, self possession, volition and resolve. In short, they are figuring out what is 'ok' and what is 'not ok'.My answer? Let them come. Let them practice on me. I should be a safe place for them to fail, hurt, hurt others, be rude, love and hate. They need to know that nothing that they do or say will change the way that I feel about and treat them. They require time spent to play with my emotions and see my response (healthy, hopefully), determining whether they can afford to hurt me or to protect our relationship. And it needs to be ok for me to deal with a little embarrassment, a little hurt and a little sadness here and there, for them to figure out who they are and who we are together.
If you have not yet read Brimstone Deep, please check it out here. And, write a review if you are so inclined. Thanks!
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